curated

From a young age, I’ve always been obsessed with the ocean, river, creek, lake and pretty much any form of water. My obsessive behavior was not only tolerated but encouraged by a tarot reading in which I discovered that I was quite literally attached to the water. In order to rejuvenate and heal, I am recommended to go near bodies of water. This is why I never really had any particular opinion towards this obsession. That is, until recently when a friend pointed out that it was because I was in fact, sad. Not only this friend, multiple people chimed in to agree with that point of sadness. That I liked bodies of water and the color blue because it was melancholic and arguably, depressing. This got me thinking: As cathartic as being sad and expressing that sadness may be, society has had an unhealthy amount of ongoing trend to encourage negativity.

Part of this is definitely because of the nature of humans being innately selfish. No one wants to see anyone else do better than themselves. For the sake of self protection, many people choose to only express the negative distractions to other people. Someone I knew once stated, “I’ve cut off everyone who lives a simpler life than me, they don’t understand the struggles and weight of their words are just condescending when they clearly don’t understand what I’m going through.” Talking about the objectivity and rationality behind encouragement and advice giving is like opening a can of worms that also carry a lethal amount of Ebola.

With the romanticization of sadness, more issues such as: trauma dumping, emotional detachment, emotional attachment, gaslighting, manipulation and even grooming have become more prone to occur. Now, this isn’t a bash of vulnerability. I think that it is almost the opposite, in-fact. When sadness becomes romanticized, every single detail of our lives becomes a subject to be made negative. When done so, it is almost impossible to tell what is truly an issue and what isn’t. When everything is an issue, nothing means more than that. The “SSS”, my term for Surface Surfing Sadness.

“The Internet gives people a sense of anonymity and protection from face-to-face judgment that sometimes leads them to share parts of themselves they don't normally share,” Erin Vogel, a social psychology researcher at Stanford University, tells Mic. Leora Trub, an associate professor of psychology at Pace University and a practicing clinical psychologist, agrees, adding that being sad online seems to be “an antidote” to the idealized personas typically created online.” (MIC)

There’s a lot more examples I can give in order to prove my point, but I’d rather just get to solutions for the sake of efficiency. If you chose to believe this subject or is curious to stick around, I’m going to list out three things in which I feel should be more regulated: healthy discussions around mental health, promoting/romanticizing normality and preventing stigmatization on self awareness. The discussions that I suggest aren’t detailed portrayals of someone’s chronic sufferings but rather encouraging more conversations to be said on how to help.

“Hey, I’ve been feeling pretty overwhelmed lately” Bob says, “Do you happen to know any therapist and or psychiatrists in town?”

I’m not sure since when a sentence like such became a very taboo thing to state. Someone could even become offended that Bob might’ve just assumed that they have mental health issues. In my opinion, no one is truly mentally sound and perfectly right in their head. (This definitely includes myself!) As long as we live, we are experiencing different waves of emotions. The more we experience, the more people learn to cope with things. If you didn’t know a clinic or technician in response to Bob’s question, that is totally okay. Just say what you know. Sometimes, people say things regarding mental health as a cry for help. Let’s stop treating mental health maliciously. Second point, consider looking at people who are just doing normal tasks. Social media has branded itself on the fantasy and outrageous events which are typically way out of what a casual person does. As a victim to this facade myself, I can tell you confidently that there are so many normal tasks I still have trouble doing. For example, absolutely no one taught me to buy a Hydro-flask in order to remind myself to drink water and keep myself regulated but someone out there will say to just chuck two canteens of iced coffee with tons of Prozac in the morning for the sake of comedy relief. Last point, let’s not shame individuals for having self actualized. Being sad and being delusional are two very different things. Delusional folks chose to use sadness as an excuse for a certain action, phrase and reaction they inflict onto another person. In doing so, it blurs and generalizes the lines of mental health by not actually recognizing specific issues. This is also a form of avoidance on the topic of sadness: using it only when it benefits the situation. Sometimes, admitting sadness and all that surrounds doesn’t mean telling it to another person. It just means telling yourself. I don’t care if you have to go in-front of mirror to do this but please, having self acknowledgement is the first step I took to loving myself. Have the guts to be vulnerable with yourself before others.

“Real talk: I am sad, moody and most likely suffering. Now, what can I do to fix this?”

This ramble might honestly just be my fight to say: blue isn't only melancholic, you don't get the same feeling looking a light blue sky and clear body of water on a tropical island as you do something under a different set of circumstance. It can be joyful, hopeful, comforting. Even in my tarot reading, blue most importantly: heals. That’s pretty much my ramble for the day. Have a great day folks!