individuality

I usually would write up a much more niche and creative title but too bad because I wanted to stay more grounded for this one. I’m currently struggling to create my own self publishing webpage. The struggle in this case embodies my lack of expertise on anything related to web design, coding, software implementation as well as the overall anxiety regarding the lack of foreseeing achievements coming out of this decision. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still doing it. In fact, I think I overcame that brief hiccup a little bit by finally sorting out which theme I wanted for my page. It’s really the little things that make me feel less like a useless piece of shit that’s wasting planet earth’s oxygen.

On a positive note, today I felt the need to write because I wanted to talk about the concept and importance of individuality. Most people since birth have been ingraining in a single philosophical mindset which is to become “accepted by other human beings.” Whether that’s about our physical attractiveness, intellectual values or life accomplishments, the first thing someone generally asks about when meeting for the first time is usually their age, occupation and background information. Speaking the obvious, these questions are asked because people are categorizing you. Upon meeting someone, we are choosing to categorize each other into appropriate little quirk boxes because that is what we were taught growing up to do, fit in. Anyways, I think that finding a reason to care about others and fit into their care sounds all too much like willingly putting a collar around my own neck. Until recently, I was also a victim to conforming to this social standard. The whole idea of finding a unique thing is what everyone is into doing nowadays: make up your own mental illness, have a horrible family background story and somehow come out with so much success: it’s called The Main Character.

Yikes.

A summary of what everyone seems to be doing is essentially just trying to be the best out of the box. The best main character. In my opinion, any characteristic in which you can quite literally describe and illustrate with simple vocabulary such as “fake depression” and “bleached balding hair” is just another box created.

I’m not really here to be a motivational speaker and tell you to “stop trying to change the things that we physically can’t alter and love yourself.” As an INTJ person, I physically and mentally cannot grasp the concept of relationships and why another human being would care about my condoning actions. Unless I am quite literally running you over with a car, why do my actions and opinions which won’t affect you whatsoever become a concern of yours? I’m just here to put things in perspective.

[insert humorous excuse to divert reader’s attention from psycho example]

In my opinion, anything that another person can see as relating or relatable would lack purpose in doing. I’m not relatable and I never will intend to be. By writing this, I’m not intending on making monetary gains or attracting a crowd of people telling me how much they found resonation with my beliefs. I’m simply getting my thoughts out. As human beings, every single person has the potential to become something extremely talented. Being put into these boxes and categorizes sometimes hinders us from excelling on what we truly aspire as. I’ve met some of the most amazing individuals who are so humble and down to earth about their craftsmanship. These people got there most of the time by spending time alone and simply caring less on living up to societal expectations. I do believe that there’s often so little to be discussed on the concept of success nowadays because most people simply make excuses for their lack of effort. Categorizing yourself in fact, is an excuse. I guess what I’m trying to say is: individuality is not about relating to the negatives and less discussed societal topics, it’s about not relating at all. The next time someone starts oversharing their traumatic childhood or abusive relationship, stop finding a need to sympathize with them. Simply just share your condolences and comfort them. You do not have to bring up a similar story or feel the need to be competitive to share an equal or worse off old wound.

Although I think that we need to be individuals, there are still things that should be collectively done. What I mean is that, we need to use all the tools we need in order to become individualized beings. Things such as education, occupation and relationships. These things build us in roles to become our own person. One thing that people keep mistaking is that we need to rely on these roles to become someone. For example, I am a model, rather than Lucy Yang. See how that lessons our own identity?

Lucy needs to go first.

Individuality means that these societal roles are reliant on us instead of the opposite. I have a theory that people tend to mistake this concept because they are unwilling to own up to responsibilities. A good example of this would be this twenty eight year old man that was aggressively insulting me upon my response to his initiative for talking. I had made a remark saying that I was literate sometimes upon looking through his profile looking for someone who was literate. As men do, he tried to say something revolting by remarking that I must’ve been dropped as a child and told me to go read a book. Undermining for him, I didn’t really care what he was projecting. Rather than that, I had wondered to what extent escapism drove this nearly thirty year old man to head on to Hinge and project his ego as well as insecurities onto a twenty one year old girl. Age really isn’t the issue here. When I discuss those numbers, what I really mean is life experience. Typically we would place someone who is older to have more maturity because they often have gone through more life. Hyper analyzing angry Hinge man, he must’ve had a very poor experience throughout his twenty eight years of living which led up to this point in his life. I don’t really write this with any sort of pity either. Whatever happened that made him turn out so wrong, that is his responsibility to deal with.

That really concludes my ramble for the day.

On a positive note, today I felt the need to write because I wanted to talk about the concept and importance of individuality. Most people since birth have been ingraining in a single philosophical mindset which is to become “accepted by other human beings.” Whether that’s about our physical attractiveness, intellectual values or life accomplishments, the first thing someone generally ask about when meeting for the first time is usually their age, occupation and background information. Speaking the obvious, these questions are asked because people are categorizing you. Upon meeting someone, we are choosing to categorize each other into appropriate little quirk boxes because that is what we were taught growing up to do, fit in. Anyways, I think that finding a reason to care about other’s and fit in to their care sounds all too much like willingly putting a collar around my own neck. Until recently, I was also a victim to conforming to this social standard. The whole idea of finding a unique thing is what everyone is into doing nowadays: make up your own mental illness, have a horrible family background story and somehow come out with so much success. It’s called The Main Character Energy.

Disgusting.

I was really fooled into thinking that people finally started to walk themselves around instead of others. A summary of what everyone seems to be doing is essentially just trying to be the best out of the box. The best main character. In my opinion, any characteristic in which you can quite literally describe and illustrate with simple vocabulary such as “fake depression” and “bleached balding hair” is just another box created.

I’m not really here to be a motivational speaker and tell you to “stop trying to change the things that we physically can’t alter and love yourself.” As an INTJ person, I physically and mentally cannot grasp the concept of relationships and why another human being would care about my condoning actions. Unless I am quite literally running you over with a car, why does my actions and opinions which won’t affect you whatsoever become a concern of yours? I’m just here to put things in hindsight.

[insert humorous excuse to divert reader’s attention from crazy example]

In my opinion, anything that another person can see as relating or relatable would lack purpose in doing. I’m not relatable and I never will intend to be. Me writing this, I’m not intending on making monetary gains or attract a crowd of people telling me how much they found resonation with my beliefs. I’m simply getting my thoughts out. As human beings, every single person has the potential to become something extremely talented. Being put into these boxes and categorizes sometimes hinders us from excelling on what we truly aspire as. I’ve met some of the most amazing individuals who are so humble and down to earth about their craftsmanship. These people got there most of the time by spending time alone and simply caring less on living up to societal expectations. I do believe that there’s often so little to be discussed on the concept of success nowadays because most people simply makeup excuses to their lack of effort. Categorizing yourself in fact, is an excuse. I guess what I’m trying to say is: individuality is not about relating to the negatives and less discussed societal topics, it’s about not relating at all. The next time someone starts oversharing their traumatic childhood or abusive relationship, stop finding a need to sympathize with them. Simply just share your condolences and comfort them. You do not have to bring up a similar story or feel the need to be competitive to share an equal or worse off wound.

Although I think that we need to be individuals, there are still things that should be collectively done. What I mean is that, we need to use all the tools we need in order to become individualized beings. Things such as education, occupation and relationships. These things build us in roles to become our own person. One thing that people keep mistaking is that we need to rely on these roles to become someone. For example, I am a model, rather than I am Lucy Yang. See how that lessons our own identity?

Lucy needs to go first.

Individuality means that these societal roles are reliant on us instead of the opposite. I have a theory that people tend to mistaken this concept because they are unwillingness to own up to responsibilities. A good example of this would be this twenty eight year old man that was aggressively insulting me upon my response to his initiative for talking. I had made a remark saying that I was literate sometimes upon looking through his profile looking for someone who was literate. As men do, he tried to say something revolting by remarking that I must’ve been dropped as a child and told me to go read a book. Undermining for him, I didn’t really care on what he was projecting. Rather than that, I had wondered to what extend of escapism drove this nearly thirty year old man to head on to Hinge and project his ego as well as insecurities on to a twenty one year old girl. Age really isn’t the issue here. When I discuss those numbers, what I really mean is life experience. Typically we would place someone who is older to have more maturity because they often have gone through more life. Hyper analyzing angry Hinge man, he must’ve had a very poor experience throughout his twenty eight years of living which led up to this point in his life. I don’t really write this with any sort of pity either. Whatever happened that made him turn out so wrong, that is his responsibility to deal with.

That really concludes my ramble for the day.